Watch the video above and talk about it with a friend or mentor.

Every mentoring relationship comes to end. Think about how relationships change and what “finish lines” we want to aim for as a relationship concludes or transitions..

Three ways most mentoring relationships can change

  1. Life situations change, either yours or the person you’re mentoring. Someone moves, a child is born, or  other new responsibilities intrude.
  2. In some cases, the relationship never takes off. The prospective mentee doesn’t respond to your overtures, or they miss a lot of meetings early on.
  3. In other cases, the relationship starts to deal with a specific question or short-term need. The relationship moves on when that need is dealt with.

Three finish lines in a mentoring relationship

It’s okay for a mentoring relationship to end, but we want to be as intentional about it as possible.

  1. The best “finish line” is when the person you’re meeting with has grown from the relationship, to the point that he or she is well established in their Christian faith and is consistently following Jesus.
  2. The opposite kind of “finish line” is when your mentee is not moving forward at all, because they are not really committed to the mentorship experience. They don’t show up, come unprepared, or don’t respond to your leadership. Your time and effort is a stewardship. It’s not unlimited. So when someone is not invested enough to work with you, it’s time for you to end the relationship.
  3. As above, a relationship hits a “finish line” when life circumstances change to the point that continuing to meet isn’t going to be possible.

Some mentoring relationship don’t end, but they do transition

Many mentoring relationships shift into something different,  as you become a friend and peer to the person you’ve been mentoring. The relationship becomes informal. You may not meet very often. But you stay in touch, you’re no longer their mentor, yet you continue to support each other as brothers or sisters in Christ.

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Key Points:

  • Most mentoring relationships will change in one of three ways.
  • How a mentor will end a mentoring relationship.
  • Some mentoring relationships don’t end, but they do transition.

See Also: Mentoring

Talk About It
  1. What are some changes that inevitably will  affect mentoring relationships? Can you think of other kinds of changes not raised in the video?
  2. What are some suggestions about how to adapt your mentoring relationship when life circumstances change?
  3. How do you discern when to release someone from mentoring because they are on their feet following Jesus?
  4. How do you decide when you need to cut off an unfruitful mentoring relationship?
  5. Describe some constructive ways that a mentoring relationship can transition to something else good.
  6. What is your personal action step based on this conversation?