Despite leaving a well-defined and familiar relational network, it is possible to find new, healthy relationship options after Mormonism. Those who decide to embrace a more traditional Christian approach to Jesus and faith, will want to seek a sense of community in a local non-LDS church.
[Related: Finding New Community After Mormonism]
[Related: Why Choose a Church?]
The Bible Describes Relationship Ideals.
The best churches seek to practice relationship values spelled out in the Bible.
- Romans 12:13 “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
- Romans 15:7 “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”
- Galatians 6:2 “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
- Ephesians 4:2 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
- Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just in Christ God forgave you.”
- 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
- Hebrews 10:24-25 “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another….”
Challenges of Finding Community in a New Church.
But seeking community in a different church can be challenging – even if that church practices these biblical relationship values. Several factors contribute to this.
- Some people, feeling hurt by or frustrated with a religious institution, find it hard to trust another church.
- You may also experience triggers that make you feel like you’re trapped back in an LDS chapel.
- When a church asks for donations, while legitimate, it may feel manipulative.
- You may automatically respond to authority figures in that church with suspicion.
- Any rituals or prayers with set words may remind you of various LDS ceremonies.
- In a more formal church, ceremonial clothing a priest or pastor might wear could trigger memories of the temple.
- Beyond that, many cultural practices in a non-LDS church are likely to be foreign and confusing.
- Many non-LDS churches are very informal. When you first visit, you may be the only one wearing a tie or a long dress.
- If a church has a “come as you are” approach, the lack of dress code may not only seem irreverent, but some people there may stretch your LDS ideas of modesty.
- Also, unlike any LDS chapel, most traditional Christian churches openly display the cross.
- The music and style of worship in many churches is loud and energetic – nothing at all like sacrament meeting. It may be appealing to many but at the same time, it may also feel foreign and lacking reverence.
- Latter-day Saint public prayers reflect a certain style, which to traditional Christians may feel scripted and formulaic. By contrast, prayer in many churches is spontaneous and passionate, which may feel unsettling to former LDS.
If you do intend to try out some non-LDS churches, you should be aware that after being told what congregation to attend at what time, and how to serve, the wide variety of available non-LDS churches can be confusing.
[Related: Finding Community in Your New Church]
[Related: How to Fit in at Church]
To Find a Church, Review What Matters to You.
Before you venture out, decide what values are most important to you. Here are some examples:
- Is the church clearly centered or focused on Jesus?
- Are the church’s teaching and values based on the Bible?
- Is the church welcoming to outsiders and people who are different?
- Does the church have the kind of program for children and/or teens that your family needs?
- Does the church offer opportunities to connect with others in more relational settings versus the larger Sunday gathering?
- Is the church active in serving the community?
Whatever you think about this list, identify your own questions that reflect what is important to you.
[Related: Choosing a Church Based on Beliefs]
[Related: Choosing a Church Based on Mission]
Exploring Church Options.
When you’re ready to consider a non-LDS church, where do you start? You probably want to go online first. Read church websites to discern their beliefs, values, style and ministries. Watch or listen to some of the church’s sermons. Is the content solid? Can you relate to the style? Sit in on a virtually streamed worship service to prepare you for walking through the doors on a coming Sunday. Then, attend a variety of churches near your home to compare your options. If, after attending, you have a question, call the church and ask to speak to a pastor.
Restoring community after leaving a tight-knit religious culture can be challenging, but it is worth it. If you want faith to be a part of your life after Mormonism, a healthy local church can be the best option.
[External Resource: Choosing a Church: A Biblical and Practical Guide]
