Overcoming Fear and Regret After Mormonism

As a Mormon transitioning out of the church, you may fall into the pitfalls of fear and regret. However if you trust in God, He will help you through this difficult, yet incredible time.

There are fears you may face as you leave Mormonism

As you transition out of Mormonism, you may have a variety of fears. Will I lose my family? How will this affect my marriage and my relationship with my children? Is this going to make things awkward at work? You may feel that your conversion needs to be kept secret. You wonder how people would treat you if they found out you had converted. You may be afraid of being ostracized, rejected, or mocked. These are legitimate fears.

There is also the fear of being deceived again. You were deceived once and wonder if you can trust other churches. You may blame yourself and be frightened to move forward. You want to be a part of a Christian community, support group, and be fed by the Scriptures. Nevertheless, you have not yet developed the tools to know what is Biblical truth and what is not. Therefore, you do not know if you can believe a pastor’s words to be true.

Some former Mormons are even afraid to be baptized. They feel that if they are baptized in a certain church, it is like they have made a commitment and are locked into that church.  However, baptism is an important part of putting Mormonism behind you and declaring to yourself and to the Lord that you are going to follow Him. Instead of thinking of it in terms of membership, you should think of it in terms of a relationship with your Lord and Savior. Baptism, deception, and losing family are all legitimate fears that transitioning Mormons tend to grapple with.

How do you deal with your fears?

The best way to combat fear is to trust God. There are a lot of legitimate reasons to be afraid. You are not wrong for having these fears. They are natural and normal. Nevertheless, you cannot make every decision based on what if and what could go wrong. You cannot live your life like that. It is way to emotionally draining.

There are regrets you may face as you leave Mormonism

Transitioning Mormons have a lot of regrets. As a former Mormon, you may regret wasting time and money. If you were a Mormon missionary, you probably regret sharing a false religion with so many others. If you are married and have children and grandchildren, the biggest regret you may have is that you have led your family astray. You might regret the family home evenings, the lessons, and all the times that you told your children and grandchildren that the church was true. Unfortunately, as you come to the Biblical God, it may seem as though your family’s faith in the Mormon church only grows stronger and you wonder what you have done.

Another regret you may have as a transitioning Mormon is passing up opportunities. You may have made some important life decisions, who you married, what career you chose, or how many kids you had, based on your patriarchal blessing and the fact that the church was true. You might have missed out on some incredible opportunities that are now gone. It is important to recognize these regrets and to name them.

How do you deal with your regrets?

Try to reverse your regrets to be positive. Yes, there is a negative. For example, maybe you have invested a lot time and money into the church. However, look at the positive. God has been with you from the beginning and His hand has been and always will be on your life.

Do not look at your time in the Mormon church as wasted time, but as a time of preparation to receive the truth. After all, Moses’ upbringing in the Egyptian court was a time of preparation. Even though he was not called until he was 80 years old, God’s hand was guiding and directing Moses’ life all along. The Lord can and is doing the same for you.

As you reflect on your time as a Mormon, try to think of things to be thankful for. Realize that during that time, you may have learned good values that were not specifically LDS. You may have learned self-restraint, the importance of honesty and treating others fairly, the ten commandments, and maybe even public speaking. Be grateful for those skills you were able to acquire before your transition. Nevertheless, remember that the Scripture says to give honor where honor is due (Romans 13:7). By being thankful you are not honoring a false organization, but the people in your life who have made a difference. You are honoring those who cared about you and taught you something important. Develop an attitude of gratitude. As you train yourself to think on these things, the resentment and the bitterness that you feel will start to resort to the background.

There will be fears and regrets on this journey. It is a part of the world we live in. Nevertheless, God can be trusted with your past and certainly with your future. Cultivate that attitude of trust. Consciously trust in Him with everything and you will see that God truly has your life in His hands.