Watch the video above and talk about it with a friend or mentor.
Going through a faith transition can arouse a powerful range of emotions. It helps to identify how we thought about emotions as Latter-day Saints, and review some positive strategies for how to respond to these feelings.
Re-Assessing Emotions.
To begin with, let’s identify some perceived messages about emotions that can take shape in a strong religious culture, including Mormonism.
First is the idea that emotions originate from some source outside of ourselves. For example, positive feelings come from God, while negative feelings come from Satan. This idea keeps us from taking full responsibility for our emotions. It can lead us to fear negative emotions, or at least to be suspicious of them. It can put a lot of weight on the need to feel positive emotions.
Along these lines, Latter-day Saints are taught that emotions are evidence of truth. A warm, encouraging or happy feeling can be interpreted as a witness of truth from the Holy Ghost. To an outsider, the feeling may simply be an emotional response to something a person already desires or expects to be true. But in the LDS person’s mind it is spiritual evidence of truth. But if we link positive emotions to the truthfulness of our religious paradigm (or of any other proposition), we become less likely to question foundational ideas or to be open to meaningful change. This view of emotions is what keeps members from investigating the truth claims of their church, assuming that if any action or thought process gives you a bad feeling, the Holy Ghost has left and Satan is present.
Related to this is the assumption in Mormonism that emotions tell us when we’re making right or wrong choices. Positive emotions are a confirmation, not only of absolute truth, but also of the validity of a particular life decision. Yet sometimes bad choices create positive emotions – at least in the short term – while right choices can engender negative emotions, for a variety of reasons.
A fourth message common in LDS culture is that intense emotions should be resisted. Only a few peaceful emotions are associated with the Holy Ghost’s presence. Other more intense feelings can be restricted because they feel threatening. So it is not uncommon for religious cultures to reinforce that their members need to deny or prevent uncomfortable emotions. Yet in practice, this often leads to anxiety, decreased self-awareness, and the loss of feeling fully alive.
In your faith journey, you have probably thought about emotions in ways that have been instilled in you over the years. But when you have uncomfortable feelings, it isn’t because you are on the wrong path! It is simply the natural result of asking tough questions about the lifestyle and beliefs that have shaped you.
[Related:Transition Step 2: Handle Difficult Emotions]
Approaching Our Emotions.
Let’s touch on nine strategies that can help you when your emotions get stirred up.
First, give yourself permission to feel and acknowledge the full range of emotions. Identify your emotions. If you can openly name the emotions you are having, you can be prepared to avoid responding to your feelings in an unconscious or habitual manner.
Second, examine your assumptions about feelings. Are the messages you learned in the LDS Church about emotions true? Are they healthy?
Third, realize that emotions are neither good or bad in themselves. They are simply the way we are wired to respond to different stimuli. Of course, the choices we make based on our emotions can have ethical implications. But the emotions themselves just “are”.
Fourth, remember that emotions are temporary. You will likely feel differently before long. So be careful about drawing conclusions or making decisions directly after your emotions are engaged.
Fifth, identify what thoughts are driving any given emotion. After all, you’re feeling that emotion for a reason. What is the reason? As you evaluate the underlying issues, you’re more likely to make a sensible response to what you’re feeling.
Sixth, as you reflect on what you’re feeling and why, consider what would be an appropriate reaction. For example, do you want your anger to influence you to shout at or demean others? Or do you want it to lead you toward action that needs to be taken?
Seventh, be patient with yourself. Recovering from being raised in Mormonism can be a long and challenging journey, but it’s essential to remember that progress is possible. Take it one day at a time and celebrate the small victories along the way. With time, patience, and self-compassion, you can recover from the psychological impact of being raised in that culture.
Eighth, seek support. Leaving any religion can be an isolating experience. Find some people who can encourage you. You may also want to talk to a therapist who specializes in religious trauma.
Finally, work out your emotions in the context of God’s promises. God promises that he is present and active in your life – for the good (Psalm 100:5; Psalm 107:8-9; Nahum 1:7; Romans 8:28; 1 Peter 5:7; 1 John 4:16). Keep coming back to his promises when emotions feel out of control.
[Related: Emotional and Relational Foundations (Series)]
Conclusion.
God cares about your emotional life. He created you to experience emotions. The Bible speaks often about emotions – especially the Psalms – and not just in a negative way. When emotions impel you toward a negative attitude or course of action, think it through. Evaluate why you’re feeling that way. You can react with purpose, not just in the way you might have reacted in the past.
Key Points:
- Re-Assessing Emotions
- Approaching Our Emotions
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- This article explains some LDS assumptions about emotions. Does this analysis ring true to you? Why or why not?
- Which of the nine strategies for responding to emotions was most applicable to you. Explain.
- From your experience, what would you add to the points made in this topic?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
