As a former Mormon, you probably want to tell everyone what you have discovered to be true. Yet sometimes this is done in an unproductive way.
Your message has two aspects
You have a twofold message. Sometimes it is easy to focus on the wrong part of the message. The first aspect is about how Mormonism is not what it claims to be. The second aspect is about following the true Jesus of the Bible. The first aspect is negative and the second is positive. Both sides of this message are true. Nevertheless, after transitioning out of Mormonism your inclination may be to warn everyone with the negative part of the message. You may feel like it is your personal mission to make sure everyone knows that Mormonism is false. The fact is that both parts of this message need to be shared with others. Yet in your zeal you can fall into certain errors. For instance, you can go overboard by telling everyone your story whether they want to hear it or not. A person who is going to be receptive will ask to hear it. Wait until they ask. If it is a relationship that is extremely important to you and they have not asked, nudge your conversation in that direction.
How to share your message
The truth about Jesus and the truth about Mormonism are messages that need to be heard. But there are better ways to share it than continual rants. Here are some ways to improve the presentation of your message:
- Watch your tone. Tone is important.
- Make good word choices. The way in which you describe truths and falsehoods is key.
- While sharing falsehoods use mature, calm tones. Do not be sarcastic.
- Speak gently and do not use inflammatory language.
- Listen twice as much as you speak.
- Share the right truth at the right time. (Proverbs 25:11)
- Ask them how they feel about the church. When they tell you, let them know you are interested and then inquire about how they came to that conclusion. They will appreciate the dialogue and feel safe. When they feel safe, they will be more apt to listen to what you have to say.
The point is to communicate in ways that they will hear what you are saying. The goal is not to dump information, but to understand and connect with them so that they will grasp what you are saying. Do not be afraid to learn communication techniques. There is no reason why you can not be conversational with them. Also, realize that you did not leave Mormonism overnight, even if it felt like it. Your transition was prefaced by years and years of truths being placed on the back shelf until it finally got too heavy and collapsed. So, do not feel like this is your one and only chance to talk to them. You can be in conversation with the person over the course of weeks and months.
If you or those around you feel like you are on a rant all the time, dial it down. Learn some principles of communication. Always remember that it is really about sharing a wonderful life changing message in a way that people will hear it, understand it, and receive it.
