Watch the video above and talk about it with a friend or mentor.

As you leave Mormonism, a time comes when you need to tell others. That can be a challenging moment, but it may not be as hard as you think.

As you are transitioning out of Mormonism, there will come a time when you need to let other people know about your decision. That can be an awkward and challenging moment. But with a good strategy and the right attitude, it may not be as hard as you think.

Start with Someone Easy to Talk to

Who you tell first is a strategic choice. Identify a safe person, someone who is less likely to be judgmental. Figure out who might be more understanding of your decision and begin there. Don’t start with the people who will be the most upset about it. Once you break the ice, you can eventually go on from there to tell others. It will be easier to tell the next person.

Don’t Be Antagonistic

As you share your journey out of Mormonism, watch your attitude. Adopt an attitude of gracious love and respect instead of an adversarial approach.

Colossians 4:5-6 Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.

It’s easy to come across as angry. Others will find this threatening. A hostile or defensive attitude on your part is likely to evoke a similar attitude from others in return. Don’t be surprised if people push back when you come on strong. Offer information about why you made your choice if people ask you. But don’t cram your reasons down their throat.

[Related: Frustrations in Talking About Your New Faith After Mormonism]

[Related: Dealing with Anger After Mormonism]

Trust Jesus with the Outcome

In the end, you can’t control how people will respond to your news. You may try to choose the right person and be gentle in your approach, but still experience a harsh reaction. Even if there is hostility, remember that Jesus is greater than people’s response. Jesus is more important than what others think or how they treat you. He is working and can even use that hostile response to do his work in your life.

[Related: What Mormons Will Say When You Leave]

In the long run, it’s worth preserving relationships wherever possible. Don’t burn your bridges by how you share your journey. God may use your gentle truth-telling and your perseverance in the face of hostility to stir up something in another person’s heart.

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Key Points:

  • Start with Someone Easy to Talk to
  • Don’t Be Antagonistic
  • Trust Jesus with the Outcome

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Talk About It
  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. When you were LDS, how did you respond when you heard of people leaving the LDS church?
  4. What are some traits that make a person more “safe” to share your decision about leaving Mormonism with?
  5. Make a list of the some of the safer LDS people in your life. Which one would be the easiest to start with, and why?
  6. On a scale of 1-10, how antagonistic do you feel toward Mormonism right now? Explain.
  7. How can you prevent antagonism from spilling over into your conversations with LDS friends and family?
  8. Read Colossians 4:5-6. How can you maintain a gracious attitude toward Mormons when you disagree strongly?
  9. What might you do if everyone reacts to your news with hostility?
  10. Do you agree or disagree: “It’s worth preserving relationships wherever possible.” Explain.
  11. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.