Beyond people-helping skills and Bible knowledge, a mentor must bring the right kind of heart to a mentoring relationship.
Mentoring is a stewardship of a a valuable person’s life
The core of mentoring is how we make a disciple and help him or her follow Jesus – understanding that God has entrusted to our care someone he loves and values deeply.
As a mentor, consider yourself to be a shepherd
The example of Jesus, as the good shepherd of Psalm 23, shows how he shepherds us, and thus how we can help shepherd others. First, the shepherd loves the sheep. The shepherd provides a pathway, leads the sheep to sources of nutrition, defends them at times from danger, and leads them to rest and peace. We can shepherd a person’s heart to learn to hear from and follow Jesus.
A mentor is both gentle and firm
Gentleness begins with just listening to get to know your mentee. Then you can understand how to best speak to that person. Ask questions to let them discover truth on their own. But sometimes a mentor must be firm in order to protect the mentee from falsehood and folly. As the person grows, a mentor becomes more directive.
A mentor surrenders the process to Jesus
As a mentor, it’s easy to feel a lot of pressure to get the relationship right. When someone leaves Mormonism, they face a whole wide world of new options to choose. There are many ways they can fail. You need to trust God with that. Yet don’t stop speaking the truth and helping them discover discernment. It’s very helpful to keep in mind what you are called to do versus what only God can do in a person’s life. Only God can provide real motivation. Only God can change a person’s heart. What you can do is faithfully meet with your mentee, set up the environment, and continue to point them to the Bible – waiting expectantly for what only God can do in their heart and life.
A mentor’s heart is reflected in prayer
A big part of surrendering the process to Jesus is prayer. You can pray with your mentee to model prayer to them and to encourage them. But you will also pray on your own, before and after you meet, to prepare your heart. Be present and listen well, in order to discern and remember what to pray for them. You may also want to take notes.
Prayer reflects a humble heart that recognizes dependence on God.
How a mentor can grow a shepherd’s heart
It’s healthy to recognize our shortcomings, when we’re ready to grow. We can look for feedback from our mentee about areas we need to grow. Remember that God has given you three unsurpassed resources to help you develop the right heart. He has given you the Holy Spirit. As you cultivate the life of the Spirit, you will be led by his convicting and prompting work. Second, he has given you his written Word. The Bible will encourage you, guide you, and correct you as you immerse yourself in it. Third, God has given you other believers. Feedback and encouragement from Christians who know you well will definitely help you grow. These resources will help you stay connected to the Vine, so that you bear fruit of a heart that mirrors the heart of Jesus for the people he loves.
