Our vision at Faith After Mormonism is to see former Latter-day Saints find a new life and identity in Christ. That’s why the biblical practice of making disciples is so important. We call this “mentoring”, and our approach is based on a few basic, underlying principles.
The Authority of the Bible
A mentoring relationship begins with the conviction that the Bible is God’s Word. It is our final authority for what we believe and how we live. As mentors, we are accountable to the Bible’s instruction. As we invest in the lives of others, we share truth with them as that is defined in the Bible.
Four Essential Goals of Mentoring
Mentoring is simply walking with others along their journey, but that journey is not aimless. We want to help them move forward along a particular pathway. That pathway can be defined as having four steps. These are the four main goals of any mentoring relationship.
Establish their identity as a follower of Jesus. Help them re-establish their sense of personal identity, not in a church or anything else, but above all else as a follower of Jesus. This might mean helping them understand and embrace the biblical gospel.
Place a trust in God through the authority of the Bible. Help them learn to rely on God in everything, to adopt God’s perspective on reality and to trust in God’s leading in their lives. The anchor to their relationship with the God who can be trusted is his trustworthy Word, the Bible.
Establish a pattern of obedience to Jesus. Help them go beyond just learning new truths or facts, but to put the truth into practice in their lives.
Reproduce mentors who can also disciple former Latter-day Saints. One of our disciples goes “full circle” when they become not just the recipient of mentoring, but they are equipped to mentor someone else. Every Christ-follower can make a disciple. We envision the end result of every mentoring relationship is the opportunity to multiply into many more such relationships by turning people loose to walk with others as we have walked with them.
The Mentoring Meeting
The core experience of a mentoring relationship is a regular meeting. This can be weekly, or twice a month. It can be face to face or by phone. But setting up a regular meeting gives some structure to the relationship to keep it moving forward toward the four goals. In other videos in this series, we talk about how to lead an effective meeting, what topics to use and how to use them.
It’s okay to become friends with your mentoree, so that you do things together outside of the regular meeting. When you do meet, remember that you’re not a counselor. You’re not expected to provide “professional” care. But you do set the agenda and you are intentional about how to use meetings to move forward.
[Related: The FLEX Method of Mentoring]
[Related: The “Three-Thirds” Meeting Plan]
How a Mentoring Relationship Develops
Be aware that a mentoring relationship will change over time. For example, it should move from dependence to independence. Initially, the person you’re mentoring may feel very dependent on you to set the agenda and to have the answers. That’s okay at first. But ideally, they will come to be less dependent on you and more dependent on God, as they learn how to read the Bible and think biblically about life for themselves.
The relationship should move from addressing crisis moments and felt needs toward an intentional pathway. A person often agrees to be mentored because they have certain felt needs, questions, or issues they are facing. It’s great to address those in the beginning and any time they come up along the way. But over time, you want to steer the relationship beyond just short-term help toward the four goals mentioned above.
A mentoring relationship will probably move from higher structure to less structure. In some ways, the meeting structure is like training wheels. It provides stability while the relationship develops. You will never abandon the tools and structure entirely, but as the relationship grows, it will become more natural and spontaneous.
The Role of Your Trainer
We encourage you to stay connected to your trainer. You don’t have to go it alone. Your trainer provides accountability and helps you keep the big picture in mind. Your trainer can help you address barriers and solve difficult situations that arise in a mentoring relationship. Your trainer can help you stay above reproach in your mentoring relationships.
Mentoring someone else in their developing journey with Jesus can be challenging and humbling. You will have mentorees who don’t respond. You will make mistakes. But God uses ordinary people like you to change the world – one life at a time. That’s what makes mentoring so rewarding.
